So last night was a serious hot mess....my frenemy made out with my date, Doug tried to make out with me, people were drunk and ridiculous, and basically I feel completely at a loss....
So last night was our banquet which really meant we all drank and had some food...like whatever...so of course everyone gets out of hand drunk pretty quickly but its like all in good fun at first...like we're dancing and goofing around...Drew was my date because I figured he knew quite a few people already and he is generally social...instead he acted kind of awkward....at first....
So the night goes on and our open bar is over so we head to Allen...somehow Doug is in my car and like helping me bring the drunk people to my car and he decides to take my camera and take pictures of us and the girls and goof around and like whatever...so we get to Frizzy's and all of a sudden its an MUP reunion...so we pretty much take over the bar because who is out on a Monday night?
So I of course take over the jukebox lol...so I pick some Cali related songs, Sublime and what not...and Doug and I start dancing and he's like twirling me around and whatever and we're laughing like its good...then he wanders over to someone else and Drew meets up with us (he was visiting someone on Allen...idk who)...so we're still all goofing around and whatever and then we're taking pictures where Doug is pretty much kissing the side of my face and so we slowly turn and start kissing for real and of course his friend takes a picture and says to Doug so how was that? and he was like well it would have been better if you weren't in our faces with the camera...wtf?
So Rachel my frenemy (I think you remember her crazy rants from the winter party thing)...so she decides to make out with Drew and flirt and act ridiculous and then totally play the victim and act like a stupid retarded girl...so then Drew takes my phone at one point and gets her number and shows her that even though she doesn't want to give it he still got it...this has me super annoyed because I took him because he's usually just a fun time and doesn't hook up with slutty frenemies of mine.
So Doug is like chatting it up with other girls and I am like what a fucking lost cause...because I just I don't know anymore..so his friend C comes up to me and starts talking and I think I kept saying how I am so surprised at how people are acting tonight and he starts talking about how some people have a really hard time articulating when sober so it's even harder when they're drunk and I'm like what can we stop being so cryptic and he's like well Doug you know...and I was like oh I wasn't talking about him...which i guess maybe I was a bit but I was also talking about Drew and Rachel and the other girls...and we continue talking but change the subject a bit...and start talking about work stuff...so shop talk is easy for me...
So it's like this ridiculous drunken drama with Drew and Rachel and the other girls are acting retarded, except for Heckl and Kordupel so I leave and walk with Heckl and Kordrupel down to Jim's because I am mad and hate that I have such dumb drunk friends and of course they follow us down including D...who is semi-avoiding the drama...but he still has a part because Rachel is also like trying to fuck him...and she ripped his shirt and we're all like wtf is up with her...
So I get my turkey burger and I tell them I am leaving at which point Doug and I walk back to my car and then have to find the drunken others who somehow thought going down Elmwood was a good way to get to Frizzy's...so we pick up Matt and then we pick up Rachel and Drew at the Family Dollar and D is freaking out that she is coming with us...like complaining acting ridiculous the whole nine...but now I understand why...
So the drive home is really retarded because Drew and Rachel are arguing about absolutely nothing and Matt is sleeping and all I can do is turn up the music louder and louder...so D is like oh this is a great song baby and starts rubbing my shoulders...so I'm just like whatever but do notice how warm his hands are...I'm a loser I know
So I drop Drew off because I can't take anymore of the retardedness and then drop off Rachel who is trying to get D to go home with her but he is totally not having it...like she is being retarded and like pulling on him and stealing things from him and its just stupid and she's embarrassing herself...needless to say he doesn't go with her (thank god!)
So I I'm driving Matt home and they are arguing over who gets dropped off first... and then we start making fun of D for the Rachel thing...which he doesn't enjoy at all....I drop off Matt and him and Doug have some secret communicate going on because D keeps saying he's going to punch matt in the dick...whatever....so finally I drive D home who is trying to tell me that this isn't the usual for him and he doesn't hook up with girls in our department and doesn't really hook up in general and then I say well maybe the way you act with people is confusing...and he's like listen can I talk to you one-on-one? (As if there is anyone else in the car)...and he says there is this really cool girl named Kim and she's smart and cute and funny...do you know her? So I make a joke and say yea I hear she's pretty fabulous...and he's like it's more than that, she's completely awesome like there is not a thing wrong with her...but I just don't have the time to dedicate to a relationship with her...I'm just too busy right now and I don't have time for that kind of thing...
so I don't say anything because I can't believe he's being semi-honest with me right now...so he kisses me again and was like thanks for the ride I'll probably see you at graduation...and gets out
Drunken me of course begins to cry...for many reasons...because I feel sad at the situation, because the situation didn't work out the way I thought it would, because I don't know if its what I would want even if it were the outcome, because I'm lonely, because I know that if he really liked me he'd find a way, I don't know anymore
So I text Sam and ask him to tell me what is wrong with me because he knows me pretty well and I just need to know why no one will date me....as of 10am he has not responded...not that I expect him to I guess...
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