Tiger Woods I'm not...

So today went well...it was really cute actually

I met him at his place and we headed out for lunch....after the waitress takes our drink orders first question out of his mouth are "so are you still seeing that mystery guy?" and I was immediately confused...he reminded me of a night that I was telling Jenn the story of Chad telling me he loved me and I told Mr. X that it was a secret and I never told him it was Chad, so he only knows him as the mystery guy

So I say no, its done and he half smirks and then is like oh who ended it, you or him...and I tell him it was mutual and he's like oh ok and then sits there like he's thinking to himself and then was like oh im sorry about that...and I was like oh its ok it happens sometimes...and I change the subject...because really what is there to say?

So lunch went really well we talked about his family, my family, hobbies, etc

And then we went to the golf range and that was really ridiculous...I am awful at golf...I do hold the club like a baseball bat though lol...and he told me that I have a putt-putt swing..so that shows I am a mini-golf pro...so one large bucket of balls later...I have some kind of swing, I have a favorite club and I totally made it to the middle flag...so all in all not too bad....although it was touch and go for a bit...but he was really patient with me and kept encouraging me...it was really cute

Then we went downstairs to the chipping area and we putted around and he said that besides his mom I am the only person he knows that takes advantage of the dip in the putter and gets air on a put...clearly a skill worth having LOL...so we played HORSE golf style...and though I started off with the lead he totally beat me...

So we headed back to his place and I was going to leave and he invited me...took the tour and we chatted and I met his cat...and oddly enough didn't have an allergic reaction...well not too bad of one anyway...and we had a few moments where it seemed like something...but one of us back away or we changed subjects or something

I tried to leave a few times and he would keep showing me something or telling a story so that I "tried" to leave about 4 times...he told me what an amazing time he had and asked me when he would see me again...he asked if I was coming to class, I told him I wasn't sure...but I told him I would see him...and we made plans for drinks again this week...and dinner on Friday night....so I think it all went well

I just...I don't know...like I don't know why I'm not more ecstatic about it...things went well, he paid attention to me, he must have had a good time to plan going out again...it was good...so why am I not more excited? Am I just jaded from the past experiences? I found myself thinking that maybe he'll end up like all the other ones earlier today before our date....well I'm willing to try as long as he tries...so we'll see...

New Crush!!! Ahhhh I love springtime!!

So I have a new crush...this one came out of nowhere...and for the sake of my own crazy secrecy I am not using his name because some people (read Brian) who read my blog know him and I just want to get started before I say anything

I saw him in the lab the other day, asked how his break was, he asked about mine...we started talking about my new job and how its super crazy and we have a golf outing coming up so I said I should learn golf, he said he would teach me (I figured it was one of those fake offers, you know what I mean "of course I'd love to help" kind of deals)

So I talk about wanting to do something new and exciting this weekend because I spent all break working...so he says well how about I take you out on Saturday...we can go golfing if its nice...and if its not we'll go to the golf dome...so I say okay and how about dinner to thank you...and he says it sounds like a date (!!!)

So we keep talking and he says he'll bring me golf mags so I can read up...

Next day I see him and he's like I have something for you...and gives me a few mags and he has dogeared the pages to the best articles for perfecting my swing...and we talk about golfing for a bit and I say well I guess I better read up and walk away...however during class we keep stealing glances and it was super cute

So after class we're in the lab and I see him and wave and continue working....he comes over and puts his hand on my back to get my attention and after I turn around he keeps it there for a minute and I am like OMG! and he stares right into my eyes and is like I'll see you tomorrow right...and I say sure...and he says looking forward to it...the whole time locked eyes it was intense!

So I see him the next day and he's stealing glances and we lock eyes again and he just smiles at me and my stomach drops a bit...and I wonder why I didn't see it before...we'd been friends for months and then all of a sudden here we are....

Pretty excited about the new crush...

30 is the new 20?

When I was younger I used to think that thirty was this elusive, crazy, super grown up age—I remember watching friends and seeing Rachel stressing over turning 30, she thought it was the end…and when you’re 15 it seems so far away that it could be the end. I remember at 18 I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before 30…I thought I would be married, pregnant with my second child, published, travelled to Europe, learned to hula, had a great career, designed a clothing line and built my dream home (clearly I thought you could fit a lifetime into 12 years)…instead here I am a few years shy of 30 and I am:

• In grad school
• No boyfriend, or romantic relationship to speak of…actually I have a string of failed relationships or pseudo-relationships (so clearly no children)
• Never learned to hula, although I have a DVD that I have watched once
• Traveled around North America but never gone anywhere else because I am generally afraid of flying
• I am about to be published, and if you count school wide publications I already have been
• I’ve designed a dress…yet to be sewn

I mean overall it’s not awful but its definitely not where I thought I would be…I do have friends who love me, and school is almost over…and I do have my first “grown-up” job although I am beginning to have mixed feelings about all of that.

So all in all, I’m not sure what should go on my 30 before 30 list…there are some things I’d like to do but most of them do with growing up and are semi-contingent on finding someone and settling down…I used to think I’d want some super baller crazy life, but really all I want is someone I don’t have to explain every moment of my life to, I want us to have the sort of connection where they know when something is wrong, when I need to be held and when I need my space. I want a good apartment, no home before 30 because I want to pay some bills and have a chance to save…I want a cute little apartment, something that is my own little sanctuary. I want to pay off my bills and raise my credit score…my aunt has an 820 which is insane, the car dealer told her that she had the highest score , I’m not saying I want to be a credit score freak but I do want it to get better.

Bottomline, at this point I just want to be loved and I want to be looked up to, and I want to be comfortable…because those were the things I generally thought I was lacking growing up. I’ve worked long and hard…that’s all I want: a big blue sky above me, a man that loves me and a comfy pillow to rest my head on. While I don’t think that’s 30 before 30, that is what I want.

Saturday --Brian is not a jerkface :)

So I don't really have anything to write about in the boy-sense...no dates as of yet...but I felt like I should write about something...it may be me procrastinating on writing my final project...or because Brian isn't here to drive me insane yet...

Speaking of Brian we totally hung out last night and it was really awesome...I never see Brian anymore, it's the combination of no classes together, we both have real jobs and are spread way too thin to have hours of social time...but I miss him, even when he drives me crazy and I want to stab him in the eye with a fork. anyway...so we went out last night to Saigon Cafe and it was really fun, conversation-wise, the food was good, the atmosphere was interesting...it reminds me of this Chinese place Meagan and I went to in NYC...it was very tiny and in a basement location with low ceilings and cramped space, like they just added tables to fit the people even though if you had to get up to go to the bathroom you were SOL...Meggo if you remember the name of it you'll have to tell me, I can't remember for the life of me...well it was the same last night...they transformed the menu table into a seating for one for a man even though everyone who walked by could put their scarf in his Tom Yum...it was really good though otherwise..Brian and I talked about the trials and tribulations of our newfound grown up employment and how apparently asking for a salary increase spells doom for everyone, soooo weird. Apparently "professional" jobs are pretty finicky...I feel like these next few months are going to be an interesting ride.

After dinner we walked back to our car in the freezing sideways rain to meet Kordrupel at Pearl Street...he was with Amos and Mandy, who have a weird relationship...last night I found out they had dated at one point, but decided to be friends instead...but the weird part is Amos' BFF Patrick totally swooped in and said he was completely in love with her and they pseudo-dated and he said he was going to marry her...how awkward for Amos...I'm not sure that's the case anymore because she was talking about moving to Los Angeles and smoking pot(depending upon what I thought of her character...as the house Los Angeles expert...sigh)

Other job news...I am going to my second event in my new role: The Women's History Luncheon...it's too bad I am going with the Mean Girls...I'm not too sure how that is all going to go...they're super judge-y...like totally looked at my XOXO purse from T.J. Maxx with disdain as they displayed their Coach bags at our last meeting...so it should be good...my soon to be boss asked me if I needed someone to go shopping with, not in a let's be friends way but in a you look like Tai and clearly need soem outfit assistance from Cher and Dionne kind of way...we'll see how that all goes...

p.s. Just got highlights and lowlights...I'm pretty excited

Done and Done

So here's the reader's digest version of what's been going on lately...

Chad is away in Florida for spring break...something that bothers me to no end...
While he has been away we have chatted a total of one time...initiated by me...and he was lame about it...I asked him to dinner and he acted like he was going to be so busy

Then i see on Kexin's wall that he's hanging out with her when he gets back...

I don't get it...but I'm really done...I can't handle it anymore...for some reason it always sucks for me...it has to be the people I choose...bottom line as much as I hate to say it I'm heartbroken because I thought he was really different...but as always my ability to judge guys' character makes about as much sense as Helen Keller playing Marco Polo

So...here we are again...and this is a time when I really could use a date/boyfriend/friend

My promotion at work has given me a whole new role in the community, including attending a ton of social functions...black tie galas, golf outings, etc etc...so Tuona has decided to help me in this department....in exchange for helping her out with her project she is going to find me a suitable Mr. Right out of her pool of eligible friends...how can that go wrong? :/

I'm pretty sure hilarity will ensue...