You can't always get what you want...

So I feel really lame for writing this..like lamer than your normal super girly post….

They say find happiness in you and it will lead to finding the happiness you seek in others

Happiness comes from within

Happiness comes from experiences with others

U.S. People have spent $10 million dollars in self-help books. meetings, conferences, all for the desire of happiness

But what happens when you are happy with yourself and you are on top of your game…but you realize for one of the first times in your life that you actually have no one to share it with?

I am financially stable for the first time in months…maybe years…and by stable I don’t mean I have oodles and oodles of money, I mean I have some and I finally understand that things don’t make me happy…I’d prefer to feel secure than have that new handbag that I never will use

I am on top of my game as far as work and school go

I was awarded the President’s Scholarship for Spring 2010

I was contacted by Richard Florida’s camp to come and guest speak because of my paper on migration

Things are going really well for me….in all aspects of my life except for the romance department

I don’t get it…part of me wonders if you can only have so much good going on…like you may want one thing but you’ve reached your cap on happiness…is that possible?

Maybe not everyone can live happily ever after?

I say this for what I may later see as a silly reason…I have had dreams the past few months that dictate that I will find someone significant after a series of events….those events have all happened and yet here I am by myself…

I’ve tried to clean out the clutter in my house because they say nothing new can come into your life if there’s no room…

Feng Shui says that if you have room on both sides of your bed it means you are ready to share your life with someone…a bedroom makeover later…still nothing

Maybe I’m trying too hard…but part of me thinks that maybe that route just isn’t for me…which makes me really sad

More sad than it normally does…I mean I’m usually by myself and I have these pseudo-escapades with boys and then its over and I think about how glad I am to be rid of them…but what happens when you don’t want to be rid of them anymore?

I have gone on numerous dates lately…and tried to put myself out there more than before…and I am not getting the one thing I want: something reciprocal and meaningful

I just don’t get it…