Longoria-Parker

I don't know what it is about this couple but it makes me sad that they're breaking up...there was something really genuine and fun and loving about them....I know the media is going crazy about it but I just really think it's sad....it's sad when a love affair gets ruined by life...

Obviously they had some issues, even if she doesn't see them...something happened in the relationship to change the love...and to have every word you said/action you did all over the news must sting a lot more than anything the normal person goes through.....

So I'm mildly dramatic

Mike just called to see how my day was and tell me what a hit my cookies were at school (I made him take a bunch to school for me so I wouldn't eat them all)...turns out he was in the lab day, after staying up until 5am working on a model...sometimes I forget how school is...

Bottom line: we talked for like 3 minutes but he just called to check in and say hey....that's cute right?

Do other people ever feel like this?

So things are going relatively well with Mike...actually I can't complain...at all...which is new...he pays attention to me, he is genuinely interested in things I say, we have a good time together....so why am I sitting here mopey? I could say it was this gloomy rainy day but its my own insecurities....I really like Mike and that scares the crap out of me...it would be easier if he didn't really like me or if he treated me like crap, at least I would know what to expect...but with someone who genuinely cares...what do I do with that? Get comfortable? What if he decides tomorrow that this is all a mistake and pulls away and I'm left staring out into the world? What if I have completely read this all wrong and he has no interest in me at all and again I'm left? Maybe I have abandonment issues...I'm assuming...or maybe I'm just not used to relationships that might work out...this mopey feeling all started when he didn't answer the phone or call me back right away...which is silly, sometimes he has school...or maybe he's doing work...or he had a crappy day at school and doesn't want to talk....I mean right?? So why am I sooo crazy?

I guess there are things that are worse than a broken heart right?

Someone should explain that to my mind...

Happy?

So okay I think most of my readers (all two of you) know the story of Mike and his drunken I like you but don't believe in dating...well he kicked it up a notch...

So I texted him Friday to ask for the code to the lounge in Hayes...he proceeded to not tell me but ask me to meet him after studio...I obliged because of the message I sent him a few weeks ago about not being lame and saying he'd never date because well everyone should be allowed a rebuttal right? So we meet up and he talks about randomness and asks me to dinner...we go head out and get to the car and he's like well about you message and I tell him I don't even want to hear it because well I didn't at the time...I mean if it was going to be awkward and we were on our way to dinner why would I want to hear it? So he tells me that he wanted me to know he got it but needs time to respond...I say fine and we go to dinner...during dinner he gets a call from Jenn who wants us to hang out and try this new beer place...so we go...after I meet his cat...Pepper...I usually hate cats with a passion, mostly because of the allergies....but I don't hate this one...she's actually kind of cute and she's lazy and doesn't really do anything, like jump on me...which I hate...Mike has to take care of the cat because of some divorce-related issue...I don't really ask because its not really my place....Mike says he wants to bake a pie this weekend but I have to make sure I am there to help him (for those of you who know him, he bakes quite well on his own and I am generally just there for entertainment value)...late in the car he says that if we are going to start hanging out all the time I am going to have to listen to country once in awhile I tell him I actually like country so he's in luck haha

We go out and meet Jenn and Sarah and drink overpriced beers with hipsters...get bored and head down the street to drink with Chad and his gf...Mike ends up getting pretty drunk and tells me he loves me....not once but twice...I don't say anything back because well what can I say? I figure once he's sober he'll either not remember or he'll pretend he doesn't remember

So we head to Scarlet for a few more drinks...I help Mike back to the car...we talk until he passes out...I stop at Jims Steakout for fries (leaving Mike in the car)....drive him to his apartment and when we're in the driveway, he looks at me with afunny look and tells me he loves me one more time and we share a hug that definitely lingers...

I leave confused....

The next day I work for a few hours and call Mike, he is pretty chipper...he tells me he is not going to the waterfront seminar but to let him know how things go...we kind of have a cute conversation...I tell him I will call him tomorrow for pie baking...

Sunday he calls me before I call him...when I call him back he was like I just wanted to see when you were coming over...so I head over and we go to lunch...sushi...he holds the door...after lunch we stop at Wegmans, grab some things and then head off to bake...We together pretty well as a team...we hang out and bake and watch movies and really just have a good time...at one point he lights some candles in the house and makes sure to point out he's lighting them because they smell nice, not because of "anything else" which makes me laugh...cause really? we talk about random facts about us...favorite colors, middle names, books, etc....he remembers that I love 'White Christmas' I ask him how we started hanging out...I can't recall...he says "even if we can't remember how it started, we should be thankful it happened"....which I thought was incredibly sweet. We talk about him re-upholstering his kitchen chairs and he asks me my opinion...

We had to make another run to Wegmans and we get into his car and he mentions not being able to find the hip-hop channels...which makes me laugh because he really listened to Keri Hilson to entertain me...we talk about him buying a truck and he asks me if I would judge him or think less of him...I reminded him I work in construction where everyone has a truck haha

So anyway...back to his house, some more baking....ate the most delicious pie I have ever made (and one of the only ones)...we pack up everything, clean up a bit and he walks me to my car...and makes sure to keep his distance...I don't get it...

Like I like him for sure...but it's like how long do you think he'll keep his distance? How long is it okay/acceptable? Do I just keep trying? I kind of think this secretly kind of good for me because I get very skittish when things move too quickly...but I'm not asking for us to hook up, just for him not to be afraid to touch me...

Tonight we had volleyball and I hung out with Danny and John and they seem normal, aren't afraid to touch people and they've had crazy things happen and had their hearts broken before but they don't try to preserve themselves and I just wonder what to do...obviously I need to think about it...but if you have any ideas, let me know..